The hidden danger of the DIY mindset

We think that our success with building our fanbase and making more money from our music all comes down to how much we do and what we're doing, and that's true to a large extent. But the thing we often overlook is that a major part of our success comes down to having an environment that supports us to be successful, and part of that environment is made up of the people in your life.

You can be doing everything you should be doing to move your career forward and be undermined by the people you surround yourself with. If you're not getting the results in your life that you want, take a look at the people that you surround yourself with.

When a flower doesn't bloom, it's not the flower's fault – it's the environment. If a flower is wilting, you have to fix the environment in which it grows; you give it more water or sunshine or fertiliser. It thrives in certain conditions and dies in other conditions.

There's nothing wrong with you. Often we're not setting ourselves up to succeed because we're not getting the proper nourishment and creating the optimal conditions for us to thrive. It's important to surround yourself with the right people. Some people we spend time with might be draining our batteries. Choose to be around the people who energise you and bring you to life. You can't flourish when you're surrounded by weeds.

You hear some coaches and personal development gurus give the advice to not tell anybody your dreams. This is because most of us don't have people in our lives who are going to be supportive of those dreams and encourage us to think big and take the risks necessary to accomplish those dreams. And so, rather than tell your dreams to people who will criticise and tear them down, they suggest keeping them to yourself to avoid getting disheartened or demoralised.

I think there are times when this is appropriate, but it's only part of the whole story. If you just keep your dreams to yourself in order to avoid the judgement and criticism of people in your life, there's still no guarantee that you'll achieve them. You need supportive people who will champion you, encourage you, and hold you accountable.

There's absolutely no way you can do it all on your own. You're going to have some tough times, times of doubt, times where you wonder if you're on the right track, times when you wonder if it's worth it, and times when you encounter failure or setbacks. If you're attempting to do something significant in your life, you're going to experience this a lot. That's part of the journey.

It's these times when you really need those supportive people around you. The negative people in your life clearly aren't going to be any help in that situation. They'll probably say “I told you so. I knew it wouldn’t work.” You can't expect to pull yourself out of that hole every time on your own. No man is an island. The idea of the self-made man or woman is a myth.

Independent artists tend to have a DIY mindset. This is mostly positive. Instead of waiting for the approval of gatekeepers they're making music and putting it out in the world. The downside of the DIY mindset is that they can undermine themselves by not asking for help, not recognising that they can only do everything themselves up to a certain point. They're reluctant to ask for help because they think they can or should do everything themselves.

If you study high achievers in any profession, you'll find they have an interesting commonality. The majority of high achievers have coaches or mentors. They recognise their own limitations and they seek out these people to harness the power of social influence to lift themselves up.

There's an African proverb I love that really beautifully sums this up: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Jim Rohn said that you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Research has shown that if you take the 5 people closest to you and average out who they are, their health, their income, their happiness, and their intelligence, that's you. Social influence is extremely powerful. The one tool that can give you the highest leverage to change yourself is to change your social influences.

A lot of musicians are carrying around the mindset that the music business is broken, artists don't get their fair share, the system is rigged against artists. If you're hanging around musicians with this mindset, it's going to permeate you. You're going to have this victim mentality that you've absorbed by osmosis from these people. And then you won't be proactive about doing the things you need to to build your fanbase and make more money from your music.

In your life right now, whatever change you want to make that is most important to you, the best thing you can do to get the fastest results is to add one positive social influence. Go and meet someone who has already achieved the outcome you want to achieve. Then spend some time with them and just observe them doing what they do. Watch how you naturally assimilate it. This is the most powerful leverage that we have and requires the least amount of work.

If you want to live a healthier lifestyle, make friends with someone who is incredibly healthy. When you hang out with that person, you'll be having conversations about health. You'll feel peer pressure to live a more healthy lifestyle. If you want to have a better romantic relationship, go spend time around someone that has a great romantic relationship. If you want to do better in business, go spend time around people who are great in business.

If you can't do this for whatever reason, the next best thing you can do is to read books, watch videos, or listen to podcasts by a person who's successful and you get a virtual version of this. While it won't be as powerful as hanging around that person, it will still be powerful.

If you can't find a positive social influence to add, maybe you can't find where to meet any, then getting a coach is a great alternative. You'll be getting the positive social influence in a more concentrated and professional way. As impactful as the work is that we do as coaches, what's even more important is our social influence on our clients. This is why as coaches we have to walk our talk and be on our own path to transformation - so that we can be great role models for our clients. If you can get a great coach who's also a great role model of who you want to become, you'll transform just by being around them because you'll model them. We learn by imitation and it happens automatically.

Another powerful aspect of a coaching relationship is that it's a collaboration. You're working together with the coach to realise that next-level version of yourself. True collaboration isn't 1+1 = 2. It's 1+1 = 3, or 1+1 = 11. Something emerges beyond the collaboration that is greater than the sum of the parts and was only possible through the collaboration. It wasn't possible with just one of the elements. A great coach will bring a different skill set to the table than you do, and those are often the missing pieces to your success.

So remember: If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. If you're looking to go further with building your fanbase and making more money from your music this year, then reach out and message me and we can have a chat about the best way to do that.