If It Makes You Uncomfortable, You Should Probably Do It

I had a great week last week. I had a mini-vacation for a couple of days when I went to Brisbane to see U2 with my sister and brother. Seeing U2 live was the culmination of a 20-year dream for me, so I’m feeling very grateful.

Before I went, a friend asked me if I was going to do a Facebook Live video from the concert. It hadn't occurred to me to do it, so I thought about it.

I'd be in an unfamiliar environment that I wouldn't have control over. Would there be technical issues? Would you be able to hear me with all the noise in the stadium? Would I be interrupted by other people in the stadium? I wouldn't be able to do my normal amount of preparation. I'd be doing it with hundreds or thousands of people right in front of me, watching me, judging me. Too much could go wrong, the quality wasn't going to be up to my usual high standards. And the biggest thing is that I'd be freaked out and nervous with this huge crowd right in front of me. So my intuition was to not do the Facebook Live from the stadium because it made me feel totally uncomfortable.

And in that moment I realised something: the fact that it made me uncomfortable was precisely the reason why I should do it. This was an opportunity for me to grow, to confront fear, to get comfortable with my discomfort; all the things that I encourage you to do. I couldn't very well be telling you to get outside your comfort zone if I'm not willing to lead by example and walk the walk and do it myself.

And so I committed to doing it. Instead of running away from it, I ran towards it. Well, maybe not ran so much as cautiously tiptoed.

It didn't go perfectly. It certainly wasn't my best Facebook Live ever. I was only halfway through when the support act started playing, so I didn't get to finish. And then after they finished playing, because I'm a glutton for punishment, I went back and did part 2 to finish it. I didn't realise until the next day that my internet connection cut out after 20 seconds, so it was recording but not broadcasting it.

But the important thing is I did it. And I'm proud of myself for doing it. I had every excuse to not do it. I almost chickened out at the last second and it would have been so easy to do that. But I pushed through. Did I feel uncomfortable doing it? Absolutely!

Abraham Maslow said, “In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” And the only place growth happens is at the edge of your comfort zone and slightly beyond it. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life. Facing that discomfort requires courage. Courage is not the absence of fear; it's acting in the presence of it.

You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you can't choose both.

This is very counter-intuitive. The things we need to do to achieve our dreams and goals are usually the things that make us feel the most uncomfortable, the things that we most want to avoid doing. That's why so many people never achieve their dreams and goals. The most successful people have all gotten comfortable with their discomfort.

So rather than running away from discomfort, I want to encourage you to run towards discomfort when you feel it. That means you're at the edge of your comfort zone and you're growing. Start noticing those situations where you do feel some resistance to taking action because you feel uncomfortable. That discomfort is a clue that it's probably something you need to do to grow and move closer to your dream or goal.

Tim Ferriss on his podcast talked about a hack you can use to practice doing courage and confronting your discomfort that's low-risk.

Next time you go to buy something, it could be coffee, ask the cashier for a 10% discount and then just wait for a reaction. You're not allowed to explain what you're doing, that you're practising being uncomfortable, that it's an experiment. If they give you the discount, great! If they say no, that's fine too. Just smile and say, “OK, no worries” and pay for it anyway. The outcome doesn't matter. It's not even about the discount. It's about intentionally putting yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable.

Another option is when you're waiting in line to be served, just lie down on the ground in the middle of the queue for about 10 seconds, then get stand up again as if nothing had happened. If anyone asks if you're OK, say yes you're fine. Again, you can't explain to them what you're doing. You’ve got to simmer in the discomfort.

These sound easy to do and not very confrontational, but when you come to actually do them you will feel uncomfortable. That's OK. That's the whole point: to expose yourself to these kinds of low-risk situations where you can practice being uncomfortable so you can gradually build the muscle of courage to do the heavy lifting when you need to motivate yourself to do something uncomfortable that will have an impact on achieving your dream or goal.