Mastering Priorities: A Simple Tool For Life Balance

Do you ever get to the end of the day and feel like you’ve spun around in circles and not gotten anywhere? Do you feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to get everything done that’s important in your life?

I’ve often felt this way in the past. I think this is a symptom of the pace of modern life. It can be really challenging to achieve a balance between all of your different commitments and priorities; work, study, goals and dreams, family, relationships, health, leisure time and hobbies.

How do you figure out your priorities and still make room for all the important things in your life so they actually get done and you feel like you’re moving forward?

I want to tell you a story to give you a new perspective on getting the important things done.

A philosophy professor was giving a lecture. In front of him was a big empty glass jar.

He started to fill the jar with rocks about the size of golf balls. When he filled it to the brim he held the jar up to the class and asked if the jar was full. The students said yes, there was no room to put any more rocks in the jar.

Then the professor picked up a tub of small pebbles and poured them into the jar. He gave the jar a gentle shake so the pebbles settled in the spaces between the larger rocks. He asked the class if the jar was full now. The students thought about it and all agreed that the jar was now completely full.

The professor then picked up another container, this one had sand in it. He poured the sand in between the pebbles and the rocks, and once again he held up the jar to his class and asked if it was full. Once again the students agreed that the jar was definitely full.

Here's the moral of the story: The jar represents your life. The rocks are the most important things that give real value to your life – your health (physical and emotional), your family, your partner, your close friends, and maybe your dream or life purpose. If everything else was lost and only the rocks were left, the jar would still be full enough and your life would still be meaningful.

The pebbles represent other things in your life that matter, but that you could live without – like your job or career, your house, hobbies, casual friends and acquaintances, etc. These things give your life meaning, but they aren't fundamentally essential to your well-being. They frequently come and go.

Finally, the sand represents everything else – the small stuff: material possessions, watching TV, video games, social media, surfing the net, email, housework, running errands, shopping. These things don't mean much in the grand scheme of things. They usually only waste time or get small tasks accomplished.

If you fill up the jar with sand first, you won’t have room for the rocks or the pebbles. The same goes for your life. If you organise your life around watching TV or playing video games, or social media, or shopping online, or running errands, that's like filling the jar with sand first and then trying to cram in the rocks at the end. If you spend all your time and energy on the small, insignificant stuff first, you will never have room for the things that are truly important to you - the things that create the most purpose, fulfilment, and meaning in your life. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your well-being and fulfilment.

Maybe you've identified your music career as one of your rocks. If you're like many other artists, your commitment to your art feels like your life purpose. It's something you can't live without because when you're not being creative, you feel dead inside. So are you putting that rock of your music career in the jar first?

Having a fulfilling life goes beyond just having a successful music career. You want to take the time to exercise every day, prepare healthy meals. Regulate your emotions by meditating or journaling or doing a gratitude practice. Spend time with your family. Plan date nights with your partner. Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. You’ll get a lot more of these things done and find your life is a lot more fulfilling. Set your priorities. Then you can pour sand in the gaps around the rocks.

This week I want you to think about what the rocks are in your life. And have you been putting them in the jar first, or have you been putting sand or pebbles in first?

Here’s an exercise you can do to help. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into 3 columns. Label one column “Rocks”, the next column “Pebbles”, and the last column “Sand”. Then look at the activities that you’re doing this week and put each one into one of those columns and categorise them. When you do this, you can have some profound insights into the way you’re spending your time. You might be shocked at how little time you spend on those things you’ve identified as being crucial to your well-being, fulfilment, and purpose.